Tips For The Taken Women
There are so many articles over Facebook that has the headline somewhat like this – “20 things single women should do“, “15 awesome things only single women would understand“, “10 reasons why girls should be single in their 20s“. I mean… these are great… for the single women. What about us taken ones? The internet seems to be excluding us pretty well. There are many things that many women don’t realize they should be doing when they’re taken. And NO, i’m not talking about making sandwiches for your men! I believe that women should be strong and independent whether they are single or taken. I find that many women become more dependent than they should when they are in a relationship. (Sometimes that’s me!) This prevents us from fully utilizing our ability or potential to do great things. Below is a list of tips I have for the taken women
1. Toughen Up
Stop clinging on to your men for protection. I don’t mean to be the man and move his furniture for him; I mean to be brave about both tangible and intangible things. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback about your relationship, if you have a problem, bring it up. But remember… you are looking for a constructive communication, not yelling and screaming. The important thing is to be understanding and patient. Change doesn’t happen in one day, but if it does, he’s a keeper.
2. Pay For Your Own Shopping
Unless you and your partner are married, you shouldn’t ask your man to buy you expensive gifts on a random day. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Constantly being spoiled by gifts will lower our desire to earn more. Capable women like us should have big goals; perhaps not money, but we sure do need the desire to keep us going. Occasional surprises and holiday presents are obviously welcomed. All women love a bit of materialistic love in their relationships.
3. Carry Your Own Things
If you’re going to bring a purse, carry it yourself. If you’re just going to make your man carry it, you might as well buy a man purse. There is one exception however. If you really are getting overwhelmed with all the things you’re carrying (and I mean more than just your purse), then maybe have him help out a little. When you go on a shopping spree, he can also help carry the heavy things, but don’t make him carry a purse size Victoria secret shopping bag… By carrying your own things, you not only show that you respect him as a partner, but also values yourself as an individual. If you can’t even carry your own purse, I wonder what you are capable of doing.
4. Be Sexy = Be Romantic
As tough as you should be as a taken woman, you should still show your tamed side to fulfil your partner’s manhood. Act out his fantasy when in bed (if it’s not too out of your comfort zone), and tell him he can do anything to you. However, being sexy doesn’t always have to do with sex. Light up some candles and make him dinner for two or even desert. Maybe shut up once in a while and let him do the talking. (That’s a tough one) I think it’s important for woman to step out of their comfort zone and do something for their men. It shows that you not only are willing to break your rules, but also are a wild cat! Lastly, a random peck on the cheek is always appreciated.
5. Travel Alone
Once you’re in a serious or long-term relationship, you’re either travelling with friends or your partner. You have to realize that sometimes traveling alone is not just fine, but important. Everyone needs time away from people. Unplugging yourself from the world you’re used to gives you the chance to reflect on yourself. The thoughts that are triggered from seeing different things when you travel are the thoughts that might change your life. Just because you feel comfortable living the life you have doesn’t mean you’re satisfied. Take a trip alone and grow as an individual. Interact with strangers, and find your way out of the city with only a map. When you come back, you will have a clearer sight of what you appreciate and what you don’t.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Change
Like I’ve said in the previous tip, being in a relationship may stall a lot of changes and make you too comfortable. Relationships are about two people learning from each other and growing together. If change is needed for you to grow, then so be it. Even when you are afraid that your partner may judge you, you should still break that fear and accept the changes that you are making. Whatever hardship there may be with the changes, you know you’ll put an effort into making it work. If you’ve tried everything but nothing is working, then maybe the time is just not right. But never ever give up on opportunities because you’re afraid to lose someone. Most of the time there are ways you can do both.
7. Think for yourself
I would say that this tip is strictly for the women who not yet have a family. I believe that once you’re responsibility is more than just yourself, you should never be selfish and only think for your own good. For those who are taken but don’t have a family yet (married or have children) however, you need to think for yourself. You are your own person, and you should make decisions base on what you prefer and what you want out of your life. We hear many people talk about not letting their parents make decisions for them, but often we end up letting our partners do that. If your partner respects you and trusts your judgement, the most he should do is give you advice and be supportive
8. Have a Hobby of Your Own
When I say hobby of your own, I meant a hobby that your partner doesn’t give a shit about. Do something you absolutely enjoy doing alone and never have anyone interrupt you. This will keep your individuality. After being with someone for so long, a breakup can cause many discomfort. You’d be doing everything alone and everything seemed less fun… Except, now you have a new hobby you’ve always done alone. This will be your comfort zone when things don’t go well between you two. (Whether it’s a breakup or just a fight)
9. Be Open
I find that many people mistake a relationship being open from being comfortable. Couples who are open may do things that couples who are comfortable do, but the opposite would not be true. Being open isn’t just about honesty; it is also about confidence. You can gain a bit of weight, and maybe fart a little, but being open is about keeping the sparks between you and your man. Yes, my boyfriend and I are very comfortable with each other, we pluck each others’ nose, armpit or other hairs for fun, but we also love dressing up for each other when we go out on a date. We have no problem walking around naked and scratching our butts, but we also love lighting candles to a simple home cooked meal. The reason why people say don’t get too comfortable if you want your relationship to last is because people are comfortable with being comfortable and not comfortable with who they are. Be open, and confident about you and your personality. It will keep your relationship way more satisfying than being someone else (holding in all your farts) or being too comfortable (stop caring about personal hygiene).
– Little Ms. Everything